According to GQ...

The Least Influential People of 2012:

"Any magazine can do a year-end list of influential people who have accomplished far more than most of us ever will. But only GQ possesses the iron testicles to count down the twenty-five least significant men and women of 2012 - a collection of people so uninspiring that we should round them all up and stuck them on an iceberg. Please note that these folks are ranked in no particular order, because all zeros are created equal."

Among GQ's list of the 25 least influential people are Mitt Romney, Michelle Obama, Ryan Lochte, Lance Armstrong, and James Brady.

As much as I dislike Mitt Romney, I really don't believe that he deserves to be on a list like this. As much as it saddens me to say this, Mittens actually had a rather large influence this year. If he didn't, the election wouldn't have been so close. GQ writes, "Was anyone inspired by Mitt Romney? Did anyone enthusiastically vote for Mitt Romney? Of course not." I can't help but wonder if the people at GQ hid under a rock for the duration of election season. Their explanation for adding Michelle Obama to the list is that despite her efforts to create a healthier America with the "Let's Move!" campaign, nothing has changed. Apparently, not being able to erase the laziness and obesity of an entire nation makes you condemnable over at GQ.

Ryan Lochte was added to the list for his level of "douchiness," Lance Armstrong earned his spot for being too "dickish," and James Brady is on there because he hasn't rid the world of gun violence.

This article by GQ is listed under entertainment and humor, but I'm left wondering if anyone out there finds this to be funny? I love a good joke, and I'm a huge fan of The Onion. But this? This isn't doing it for me. It just seems like a cheap, failed attempt at journalistic humor.

It's the most wonderful TIME of the year.

At this time every year, I sit down with a giant cup of hot chocolate and cast my vote on who should be TIME's Person of the Year. It's undoubtedly one of my favorite (and most frustrating) parts of the holiday season.

Last year I was pleased to see that one of my favorite nominees, The Protestor, won TIME's Person of the Year. I haven't always been so pleased with the winners, though. George W. Bush has won three times. Yes, one of those times was in conjunction with his father, but still! I hardly think he's deserving of three wins. Also, up until 1998, this "contest" was called TIME's Man of the Year, which I definitely don't appreciate. I mean, why on earth did it take so long for them to decide that women can make an impact on the world too!? Since the title was changed to include women, not much else has changed. No one woman has ever been named TIME's Person of the Year. "The Whistleblowers," which includes Cynthia Cooper of WorldCom, Coleen Bowley of the FBI and Sherron Watkins of Enron, won in 2002, but they had to share their fame with each other.

This year, 27 men were nominated, 6 women were nominated, 3 nominees involved more than one person where at least one was female, and 2 nominees aren't even people.

There are always a few people (or things) on the list that surprise me, but I think this year's list took it to a whole new level. For example, can anyone out there explain to me why Psy, the creator of Gangnam Style, is on the list but Michelle Obama is not? My love for Michelle Obama might make me a little biased, but I really do believe that she's one of the most influential people of the year. I kept waiting to see her name on the list so I could vote for her, but she wasn't there. I'm also not so sure why Jay-Z made the list. What could possibly make him eligible for this? The Higgs Boson and the Mars Rover were also on the list of potential winners. The last time I checked, neither of them actual human beings. This isn't TIME's Particle of the Year. It's not TIME's Invention of the Year, either. So now I'm just confused.

I'm pulling for Malala Yousafzai!

Are lottery winners really lucky?

This Wednesday's Powerball jackpot was $500 million. As everyone ran around buying tickets and imagining what they'd do with the money, I couldn't help but wonder what happens to the people who win big. I've always heard that the lucky winners don't end up being all that lucky, but no one's ever given me any details. Lucky for me, I visited the TIME website and came across an article titled $500 Million Powerball Jackpot: The Tragic Stories of the Lottery's Unluckiest Winners.

Andrew "Jack" Whittaker was already worth $17 million when he won a $315 million Powerball in 2002. He donated $14 million to his Jack Whittaker Foundation and gave the woman who sold him the winning ticket $50,000 in cash, a $123,000 house, and a new Dodge Ram Truck. Whittaker shortly began a downhill spiral, though. He began drinking heavily, was a regular at strip clubs, had $545,000 stolen from his car while he was inside a strip club in 2003, reported that thieves had emptied his bank accounts in 2007, and had $200,000 stolen from his car in 2004. Also in 2004, his granddaughter's boyfriend was found dead from a drug overdose in his home. Three months later, his granddaughter died of a drug overdose as well. Her mother, Whittaker's daughter, died five years later in 2009. Whittaker is now reportedly broke.

Billie Bob Harrell Jr. was virtually broke and bouncing back and forth between several low-paying jobs when he won the $31 million Texas Lotto jackpot in 1997. He opted for $1.24 million annual payouts and thought his problems were over, but they had just begun. At first things were great. He took his wife and three kids to Hawaii, quit his crappy job, donated tens of thousands of dollars to his church, donated 480 turkeys to the poor, and bought cars and houses for his family and friends. Harrell made a bad deal with a company that gives lottery winners lump-sum payments in exchange for their annual checks, though, and he ended up with a lot less than what he had won, and he and his wife divorced less than a year later. Harrell committed suicide in 1999.

After William Post III won $16.2 million in the Pennsylvania lottery in 1998, he was quickly overcome by crime, tragedy, and simply stupid spending habits. Two weeks after he received his first annual $500,000 payment, he had already purchased a restaurant, used-car lot, and airplane. Three months later, he was $500,000 in debt. His brother was arrested for hiring a hit man to kill him and his sixth wife, his landlord convinced him to give her a third of his cash, and his family tricked him into investing in worthless business ventures. William Post shortly thereafter filed for bankruptcy and did time in jail for shooting at a bill collector. He died in 2006.

Michael Carroll won about $15.5 million in 2002, blew all of it on drugs and hookers, drove way his wife and daughter, and ended up attempting suicide twice. Charles Riddle won $1 million in 1975 and ended up in federal prison. Jeffrey Dampier won $20 million in 1996, had his hands and feet bound by his brother and sister-in-law while they robbed him, and was then shot and killed by his sister-in-law.

After reading so many stories about unlucky winners, I feel pretty confident in saying that I won't be partaking in the lottery any time soon.

Alex Kintner

Today at 2:00 p.m., roughly three hours after the mauled body of Chrissie Watson was found at South Beach, 10 year old Alex Kintner was killed while swimming at Village Beach in what Police Chief Martin Brody says appears to have been a shark attack.

Witnesses, including Brody, say that Kintner had been floating on a rubber raft off of the crowded beach when the attack occurred. When Amnity's beach-goers heard screaming and saw an eruption of blood in the water, all of the children rushed out of the water as their parents and fellow townspeople ran towards them to help them out.

As Alex's mother, Marion Kintner, yelled for her son with no response, pools of blood and the yellow raft he had been on floated ashore with what appeared to be a large bite out of it.

Brody stressed that Kintner was killed in what appears to be a vicious and unprovoked shark attack. Now that another Amnity citizen has been killed, Brody said, "We now believe that it may be possible that the Watson death could also maybe have possibly been linked to possible shark activities in the vicinity of Amity." Nonetheless, he has asked the press not to jump to conclusions.

A special meeting it being held tonight at 6:00 p.m. in Town Hall by Mayor Larry Vaughn, Brody, and the Amity Board of Selectmen. At the meeting they'll discuss closing the beaches on July 4, the Kintner family reward or $3,000 for the capture of Alex's perpetrators, and the offer of fisherman Quint to hunt down the shark that's thought to be behind these tragic deaths.

Since her son's disappearance, Marion Kintner has been admitted to Amity General Hospital where she is being treated for shock. Mayor Vaughn and Brody both extend condolences to the Kintner family.

Chrissie Watson

The Amity Village Police Department is investigating the death of 17 year old Chrissie Watson after her maimed body was found on the South Beach Shoal bell buoy by Police Deputy Jay Hendricks this morning.

"She had been severely mauled by an attacker of unknown origin,"said Amity Police Chief, Martin Brody. "Her body has been transported to the coroner's office for autopsy." No charges have been filed in the case, and a shark attack has yet to be ruled out.

Christopher P. Hoggenbottam III, a sophomore at Trinity college and former resident of the island, reported her disappearance to the police at about 6:00 a.m. when Watson hadn't returned from swimming in a remote section of South Beach last night. Brody said that while they're not ruling anything out, he does not believe Heggenbottam was involved with her death.

Watson was last seen alive leaving a beach party with Hoggenbottam around 11:00 p.m. Police investigators were alerted by witnesses from the party that both of them had been drinking heavily, were likely intoxicated, and were possibly under the influence of marijuana.

Chrissie Watson, a senior at Amity High School, was a seasoned swimmer. She was a member of her school's varsity swim team and a lifeguard at the Amity Island YMCA in Oak Bluffs. The sea was calm at that time.

Brody said he assures all resident and visitors that they are in no danger so the beached will remain open. He said, "Because the likelihood that it was a shark attack is so, so slim, we don't want to just feel like alarming people if we were to say that they weren't allowed to go in the water."

Four More Years of Forward

I've heard child-like temper tantrums claiming that President Obama has let down his supporters and the nation as a whole for years now. While I openly label myself as a huge Obama fan, I'll admit that I'm not quite as in love with him as I was in 2008. I view the presidency in the same light as any other relationship: everything seems perfect in the beginning. It's all romance and unrealistic promises that seem like the answer to all of your problems at the time. You spend the honeymoon period wearing love goggles and viewing your partner (in this case the president) as the embodiment of perfection. You're blind to the reality of the situation. As time passes the disillusionment begins. You begin to lose the excitement and promise that was initially felt. It may begin to appear that the relationship is doomed, but it's truly not as bad as it seems.

After staying up through the wee hours of the morning to watch the election results, I've concluded that that's exactly what our nation was experiencing. The only other possible explanation is that over half of our nation hated Mittens so much that they decided to vote for someone they hated just a little bit less.

Republicans will maintain control of The House, but the rest of the results look mighty blue. Even the popular vote went to President Obama despite his sour reviews.

As someone who has always had an interest in politics and missed the age limit for the 2008 election by about eight months, I can't even begin to explain how excited I was to vote in my very first presidential election. I came very close to casting my absentee ballot and making my vote count in Rhode Island before realizing that I live in a swing state nine out of twelve months. It quickly became evident to me that my vote would make more of a difference in New Hampshire, and that got me even more excited to rock the vote. What really blew me away was how easy they made it for people to vote. It couldn't possibly have been any more foolproof, and yet, there are still a great number of people who didn't bother to vote! In 2008, roughly 122,394,724 people voted. That number dropped to 120,223,236 this year, though.

Has the complacency of the United States gotten so extreme that interest in our laws and leaders is dwindling? Are we so apathetic that one of our few civic responsibilities is too much to ask for even though it's easier now than it ever has been before?

Regardless of the disappointment I feel in those who chose not to vote, I'm proud to have Baracked the vote in my first ever presidential election. I'm overjoyed that my fellow citizens who did vote made what I believe to be the right decision. Well done, America!

"Tonight in this election, you, the American people, reminded us that while our road has been hard, while our journey has been long, we have picked ourselves up. We have fought our way back. We know in our hearts that for the Unites States of America, the best is yet to come."

-President Barack Obama