Oh, Mittens...

While it's true that politicians are just people, it's also true that they need to be more than "just people." Someone is always standing there with a tape recorder or camera waiting for the perfect quote or picture. Someone is always waiting for them to screw up, and they do! People often speak without thinking. People make mistakes. Politicians cannot.

Every now and then I take pity on the poor politicians who get caught saying the wrong thing at the wrong time; this is not one of those times. Instead, since I could currently use a major dose of comic relief, I'd like to focus on some of the ridiculous things Mitt Romney (more fondly known as Mittens in my apartment) says and does.

1. Video taped footage of Romney speaking at a $50,000-a-plate fundraising dinner in May was recently posted by Mother Jones, and it seems pretty darn clear that he wasn't expecting anyone outside of that dinner to hear what he said. I'd like to share several quotes from that video and the transcript provided by abc news.

• While talking about his wife, Ann, he said, "We use Ann sparingly right now so that people don't get tired of her."
• "There are 47% of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47% who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to take care of them, who believe that they are entitled to healthcare, to food, to housing, to you name it."
• "I have inherited nothing. Everything Ann and I have we have earned the old-fashioned way."

2. In an interview with George Stephenopoulos in September, Mitt defined the middle class by saying, "Middle income is $200,000 to $250,000 and less."

3. At a stop Romney made in Bethel, Pennsylvania, he decided it would be appropriate to criticize cookies that local residents offered him. "I'm not sure about these cookies. They don't look like you made them. No, no. They came from the local 7/11 bakery or whatever."

4. In an attempt to make strides toward gaining the Latino vote, Romney recently went on Univision. There was a bit of an issue, though... For some odd reason, Mitt was looking super tan that day.

5. "I like being able to fire people." This remark was uttered in good 'ol New Hampshire.

6. At a 2011 campaign stop in Iowa, Romney responded to a heckler with, "Corporations are people, my friend. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to the people. Where do you think it goes? Whose pockets? Whose pockets? People's pockets. Human beings, my friend."

7. Let's not forget that he said it was "hard to know" if the Olympic games would go well while he was in London. That comment was what earned him the nickname "Mitt the Twit" in The Sun.

8. This one needs no explanation:

Every time I watch a speech or an interview of his, and every time I read about him, I can't help but let out a woeful sigh and an "oh, Mittens..."

Where you lead, I will follow.

Along with the eight leads that succeed, our textbook named, described, and gave examples of three lazy leads that should probably be put to rest: topic, question, and quote leads. While perusing my news diet I came across a tweet by TIME that I couldn't pass up, and that tweet led me to a "lazy lead" that I rather enjoyed.

"Who can resist a puppy? Especially one given to you by Russian President Vladimir Putin?"

While this lead has some components of a direct address lead or even a startling statement, it's definitely a question lead. The textbook does make sure to point out that it's possible to craft great leads in this style, but it's still frowned upon. Upon reading this lead, several other questions popped into my mind. "Putin's giving out free puppies? Who's he giving puppies to? Is he bartering with puppies? What's he getting in return? Is it a "thank you" puppy? Haven't people given him puppies before? I think it was the Bulgarian Prime Minister and someone else in Japan, right? What's up with Putin and puppies? That's a pretty good alliteration." It was quite the thought process. Any lead that sparks that many questions and prompts me to continue reading is good in my book! (And I was right, by the way. Bulgarian Prime Minister Boiko Borisov gave Putin a Bulgarian shepherd in 2010, and a Japanese governor gave him a baby Akita Inu puppy in June.)

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"AS THEY wake on November 6th, political-science students at Temple University in Philadelphia will receive e-mails reminding them that it is election day, via their department's automated mailing list. Once out of bed, they will find student Democratic volunteers bustling about with iPads and smartphones, ready to tell them which is their polling station and to provide directions..."

I would classify this lead, found on The Economist website, as a scene-setter lead since it lacks the urgency that a hard-news lead has and transports the reader to another place. The tweet that led me to this story says, "The coddling and hand-holding of modern voters is a phenomenon worth pondering with regards to the US election." In this case, I would say that the tweet is more effective than the lead. The scene that this lead creates is a good one, but it's also a bit misleading. From the lead alone, I would have guessed that the article was solely about voting on college campuses, but it isn't. The article covers exactly what the tweet said it would. As a college student, I would have kept reading regardless. I'm not sure that other people would, though. I don't think the lead does the article any favors.

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Every now and then I came across a lead that I couldn't easily identify as one or the other while doing this assignment. Some of them seemed to fit into a few categories and others didn't necessarily fit into any category at all. Take this lead, found on the TIME website, for example:

"As if riding a motorcycle wasn't risky enough, one Michigan man is betting he can ride his Harley-Davidson without using his hands - and without making any stops - from Michigan to Kentucky."

When reading about the leads that the textbook names, I came up with a few potential options. I suppose it could be a lazy topic lead, but it doesn't seem to have all of the necessary characteristics. Topic leads also convey no actual news, and I'd say that this story is news. A lot of people are very interested in setting records and would probably find this interesting, so can it really be a topic lead? My next possible lead was anecdotal/narrative. It definitely sounds like the beginning of a story to me, but it lacks the middle and end that are mentioned in the text. I think that the most applicable lead is the startling statement in this case. Who the heck decides to drive that far on a motorcycle without using his hands? That can't possibly be safe...

Don't Tell Me What To Drink!

After reading "Goodbye, Big Soda: New York Becomes First City to Ban Large-Sized Soft Drinks" on TIME's website, I can't help but feel a little angry.

The New York City Health Department officially banned the sale of sugared soft-drinks over 16 oz. This means that restaurants, mobile food carts, sports arenas and movie theaters will be fined $200 for selling said beverages after their grace period ends. Michael Bloomberg, the mayor of New York City, reported that people can still purchase multiple 16 oz. sodas; that's not included in the ban; he just hopes that people will think twice about consuming that much soda now that the convenience of it is being taken away.

I'm a big supporter of the anti-obesity campaign, but this is taking it a bit too far. Obesity in America is a seriously problem; I don't think it's something that new laws are going to fix, though. The elimination of oversized sodas won't do anything about fast food, obscenely large portions, lack of exercise, etc. Even if this new law did fix the problem, since when is it okay for officials to tell people what they can and cannot wash down their meals with?

If Narcissus Had A Mustache

On September 14, TIME magazine published an article entitled "For the Love of a Mustache: Pakistani Man Forced to Flee Hometown Over Facial Hair" on their website. After coming across the headline I was left with one thought, and one thought only: what!?

Malik Ameer Muhammad Afridi is a father of ten children from Bara, Pakistan. He doesn't live there anymore, though. His house was invaded by men from an extremist group four years ago. The men took him to a cleric who decided that his mustache broke the Islamic law. They then shaved his mustache off at gunpoint. Afridi spent eighteen months growing out his mustache again, which has now grown out to twelve inches long, and moved to Peshawar to secure the safety of his precious facial hair. He reportedly spends thirty minutes a day grooming his mustache with almond oil extract, coconut oil extract, a gel from Germany, and the help of his wife. Despite the 5,000 Pakistani rupees a month that the government gives him to maintain his majestical mustache, Afridi still spends a considerable amount of his own money on his 'stache.

This article raised so many questions for me. Why would he flee his hometown for the safety of his mustache when his life was being threatened? Was having his mustache forcefully shaved really worse than being abducted from his home and held at gunpoint? Why on earth would this man uproot his twelve-person family to protect his facial hair? Why is the government now giving him 5,000 Pakistani rupees a month to care for the hair growing out of his upper lip? Am I the only one who feels completely befuddled by this information?

I'm hoping that there's some kind of cultural barrier keeping me from understanding the logic behind this story... If not, I'd say that this man has the potential to give Narcissus a run for his money.

Yet Another Diet That Won't Help Anyone Lose Weight

After years of partaking in a plethora of trendy diets that eliminated every trace of deliciousness from my world, it seems as though I've finally found a diet that's worthwhile.

Despite my nerdy news-junkie status, I recently realized that the number of news sources I checked on a regular basis was embarrassingly low. In order to rectify this situation (and fulfill the class assignment), I'm beginning to expand my journalistic horizons.

I've been a huge fan of TIME magazine since the age of eleven. My dad used to bring the magazine home from work. Even though I didn't understand most of what I was reading, I liked knowing that I was reading something important. Over the years I've also grown to love reading Mother Jones, The Economist, National Geographic, and watching BBC and CNN. I must admit that I've never followed all of those religiously, though. In addition to afore mentioned sources (which are all quite respectable), I also genuinely enjoy The Onion, The Colbert Report, and The Daily Show. Do they count as legitimate news sources? Absolutely not. Do I consider them worth my time despite that fact? Of course!

Since the beginning of my expansion experiment, I've also worked in the news sources listed on our assignment sheet. As of right now, I'm visiting some websites and following others on Twitter. When I get a feel for which ones I enjoy the most, I'll weed out the rest.

As of right now my news diet is a little scattered. I watch some news channels when I get the chance, check some websites every day, follow some news blogs on Tumblr, and follow others on Twitter. The problem with that set-up is that I'm going through far too much trouble to get the "nourishment" I'm looking for. I'm hoping to encounter a lightbulb moment and discover a way to organize my news feed any minute now. Until then, let the mishegas ensue!

-Jill

What is news?

I would define "news" as noteworthy, recent information regarding what's happening locally, nationally and/or around the world. If the material is based on old information, it should include new information that makes it relevant once again.

Good news should interest readers, affect people and always inform and educate the reporter's audience. If the story is well written and/or reported, it will contain a lead that forces people to take time out of their day to read the whole thing.